


Oh Fuck The Manager’s Chat

by liruicchi



Category: haikyuu
Genre: Fuck this tagging shit oops
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-29
Updated: 2020-02-27
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:08:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22463116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/liruicchi/pseuds/liruicchi
Summary: seahoe: wAIT ID UR FROM NEKOMA R U THAT CUTE GIRL I SAWSleepdeprived: H u HIn which Terushima makes a manager’s chat
Relationships: Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou, Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Kudos: 32





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> [sleepdeprived: Kaido, Nekoma]
> 
> misakii, runaa: misaki, runa
> 
> Foodo wudo: yukie (fukurodani)
> 
> Wowri: kaori (fukurodani)
> 
> Makomermaids: mako (shinzen)
> 
> Bitchinbubbles: eri (ubugawa)
> 
> Seahoe: umi (dateko)
> 
> Gogoletsgoletsgo: mai (dateko)

**3:12PM**

**_fuckboychan has added misakii, runaa, foodo wudo, goddess, wowri,_ **

**_Sleepdeprived, ScaredofEverything, gogoletsgoletsgo, makomermaids, bitchinbubbles, seahoe_ **

**fuckboychan** : so! I made this group chat so Misaki and Runa can befriend you all! Good luck 😉 

**fuckboychan** : actually, he wants you guys to be friends so runa and Misaki can bring you all to our matches -boobata

**gogoletsgoletsgo** : wow he really typed out gc

**gogoletsgoletsgo** : loser lmao

**seahoe** : yeah but that’s terushima?

**gogoletsgoletsgo** : and? 

**seahoe** : he’s HOT tho,,,

**Sleepdeprived:** H u H 

**seahoe** : but who r y’all lmfao

**bitchinbubbles** : y’all

**seahoe** : shh

**fuckboychan** : i’ll leave you ladies to it~

**_fuckboychan has left the chat_ **

**Sleepdeprived:** oh and he’s gone… bye

  
  


**runaa** : hopefully forever

**misakii** : runa we have to see him at practice, u know this

**wowri** : practice? Like for a sports club?

**misakii** : yes? we’re the managers

**seahoe** : lmao me too, unfortunately

**Sleepdeprived** : same, :,)

**gogoletsgoletsgo** : i will murder futakuchi in his sleep with no remorse

**Sleepdeprived** : me @ my whole team, minus Kenma bc he’s babey

**seahoe** : nO you dOn’t uNdeRSTAND

**seahoe** : tHAT BITCH TRIED TO CLIMB ME

**goddess** : futakuchi? Kenma? Like dateko and nekoma?

**ScaredofEverything:** I.. don’t think I know you guys? Do I?

**Sleepdeprived:** Hold on I think I see a pattern, are we all managers?

**seahoe** : no i’m a descendant of ursula

**bitchinbubbles** : yes!!

**Sleepdeprived** : From what clubs?

**seahoe** : the swimming club

**gogoletsgoletsgo** : oh be quiet, umi. We’re from the boys volleyball club

**Sleepdeprived** : Same here, from…. the Nekoma boys team

**foodo wudo** : fukurodani boys volley 

**seahoe** : wAIT IF UR FROM NEKOMA R U THAT CUTE GIRL I SAW

**Sleepdeprived:** H u H

**wowri** : fukurodani boys volley!!

**makomermaids** : shinzen vbc!!

**goddess:** Karasuno boys volleyball 

**seahoe** : both karasuno managers are cute tbh

**Sleepdeprived** : more importantly the Karasuno managers bring Hinata, and Hinata + Kenma = Not so sad pudding head 

**seahoe** : yo yo yo wait up 

**gogoletsgoletsgo** : umi istg

**gogoletsgoletsgo** : also im nametsu mai, from dateko. I’m the second year manager

**ScaredofEverything:** uh,,,I’m Yachi HiToka from Karasuno!

**seahoe** : THE CUTE FIRST YEAR MANAGER

**gogoletsgoletsgo:** umi please

**sleepdeprived:** now you see, all the managers are either cute or hot

**goddess** : that is a fact

**sleepdeprived** : HOOOOOLD UP, You’re the hot Karasuno Manager that baldie and your libero don’t leave alone aren’t you

**seahoe** : not me not me

**seahoe** : I’m just a lil ol seahoe

**wowri:** Yukie is cute!!

**goddess:** I suppose?

**scaredofeverything:** Yes! Yes she is! 100%!

**gogoletsgoletsgo:** be quiet umi u made saku-kun nervous, ‘not me not me’ my fOOT

**foodo wudo:** thankyou, kaori

**seahoe** : sakunami gets nervous over EVERYTHING tho

**runaa** : I-I’m not cute!! 0///0

**seahoe:** lmao don’t deny it

**gogoletsgoletsgo** : umi pls tell me ur coming to practice

**sleepdeprived** : Let me tell you, practice is a dangerous place, I can tell you now I’ve almost been hit by a ball like 100 times, 

**seahoe** : need I remind you that a boy of 184.2cm tried to climb my 170 headass like a fucking mONKEY

**scaredofeverything** : Tanaka keeps ripping his shirt off, I at this point don’t know how to feel anymore. I’ve been scarred

**seahoe:** and no mai-san, I’m not. I’m sick, remember?

**gogoletsgoletsgo:** of Futakuchi’s bullshit, or actually?

**seahoe** : ….why can’t it be both?

**gogoletsgoletsgo:** you left me alone, i’ll never forgive u

**wowri:** that sounds rough, yachi-san!! :(

**sleepdeprived** : Rough is having Taketora dive at you went you say you’ll be a manager. 

**seahoe:** omg I feel u

**seahoe:** Koganegawa has tackled me so many times lmfao

**seahoe** : so now Takanobu is my iron wall irl😭

**bitchinbubbles** : takanobu?

**seahoe** : my big bro

**goddess** : oh, I recall hearing a phone call between Tanaka and Taketora where they were talking about Nekoma having a manager and something about Taketora rubbing it in Tanakas face

**seahoe:** scary iron wall teddy bear

**seahoe** : ok but kinda wish there was a seijoh manager here

**scaredofeverything:** me too! My sanity could’ve been saved from Yahaba almost hitting me IN THE FACE with a ball to get my attention. 

**wowri:** eh?? why, umi-san?

**seahoe:** you don’t want to meet new people? make new friends? include everyone? gee kaori-chan, you’re not who i thought u were:/

**Sleepdeprived** :biggest scandal of 2020, Kaori is not who Umi thought she was.

**foodo wudo:** omg leave my baby manager alonee

**gogoletsgoletsgo:** umi istg OBARA JUST SPIKED A BALL AT AONE’S HEAD

**seahoe:** lol bro can walk it off unless he’s bleeding tho

**gogoletsgoletsgo:** and then it bounced off and hit Futakuchi and now he’s just crumpled on the floor

**seahoe:** oh no what a tragedy

**bitchinbubbles:** wow i can see your love for your team there

**sleepdeprived** : Oh dear, Lev just fell onto Yaku, this is gonna be interesting, you reckon I need 911 on speed dial?

**seahoe:** I do love them thooo

**seahoe** : wait Yaku Morisuke?

**sleepdeprived:** Yes, that would be him

 **seahoe:** WAIT HE’S SO CUTE THOOO

**sleepdeprived** : haha ObViOuSlY you haven’t seen him mad

**bitchinbubbles** : now i get ur name lol

**seahoe** : that doesn’t mean he’s still not cute tho

**seahoe:** also put a sock in it miyanoshita

**sleepdeprived** : honestly that’s right, he’s cute 98% of the time.

**gogoletsgoletsgo:** uh umi, he’s not getting up

**seahoe:** ok and??

**bitchinbubbles:** real love 

**gogoletsgoletsgo** : she does love him tho

**bitchinbubbles** : ??

**foodo wudo** : oH?

**misakii** : oh??

**seahoe** : she’s joking lmfao

**gogoletsgoletsgo** : or am I?

**sleepdeprived:** BAHAHA YAKU JUST ROUNDHOUSE KICKED LEV IN THE FACE

**runaa** : WHAT

**runaa:** IS HE OKAT

**misakii** : kuribayashi we can’t speak 

**misakii** : terushima just ripped bobata’s eyelashes off

**sleepdeprived:** yeah he’s fine because Yaku can’t even reach his face, he just ended up kicking his ass, like his literal ass

**seahoe:** WHY THO

**misakii** : I’m not done

**seahoe:** lmao imagine being lucky enough to kick Haiba’s ass:/

**sleepdeprived:** wanna know smthng fun I get to do every match?? 

**misakii:** he did it with his teeth.

**misakii** : I wish I was joking

**seahoe** : lol ok

**sleepdeprived:** The guys legit ask me to slap their faces to hype them up-

**wowri:** WHAT WHY WOULD HE DO THAT

**gogoletsgoletsgo:** Umi don’t you start getting any ideas

**seahoe:** >:/

**seahoe:** wouldn’t that be so great tho

**gogoletsgoletsgo** : yeah it’d be fun, but I don’t wanna slap our angels

**seahoe:** Futakuchi ain’t no angel tho:/

**sleepdeprived:** imagine having more than one angel on your team

**foodo wudo:** SUZUMEDA WE LITERWALLY CANNOT SOEAK

**foodo wudo:** BOKUTO JUMPED ON KOMI AND I DONT THINK HE;’S BREATHING

**scaredofeverything** : AA THAT SOUNDS SCAFRY

**gogoletsgoletsgo:** kaido-chan, we have a provocative demon and a gangster-looking iron wall, please take them

**seahoe:** BACK UP BACK UP

**gogoletsgoletsgo:** oo the gf coming in to save her demon of a bf

**seahoe:** THATS MY BRO WE CANM’T GIVE HIM AWAY UNLESS THERE ARE CUTE BOYS/GIRLS

**sleepdeprived:** what do you do if an angel is so fucking oblivious to flirting, I love my child but is he okay?

**bitchinbubbles:** which one?

**foodo wudo:** OKAR KOMI IS ACTYUALLY NOT BREDSTHING H E L P

**wowri:** AAAAAAAA IM ON MY EAY

**sleepdeprived:** Kenma, the Sender being bed head

**wowri** : I KNEW SOMETHING WAS UP

**wowri** : ONAGA OWES ME TWENTY BUCKS 

**bitchinbubbles** : CAP OWES ME THIRTY FUCK YOU

**seahoe** : lmao DAMN weren’t y’all sweet children of jesus like five mins ago?

**sleepdeprived:** Kenma is so oblivious I’m gonna cry 

**seahoe** : lmao me @ karasuno

**gogoletsgoletsgo** : why’re you talking abt karasuno like dateko doesn’t exist?

**seahoe** : also tell the rooster lookin feline headass to step up his game 

**seahoe** : cuff him before orange birb does

**gogoletsgoletsgo** : how in the world do you act the same but different in text?

**seahoe** : the magic of being bisexual

**goddess:** ah yes oblivious children, I’m familiar 

**sleepdeprived:** oooh do tell

**scaredofeverything** : Yamaguchi is really trying but Tsukishima is.. well… not as strong there 

**gogoletsgoletsgo** : i can relate to you guys 

**gogoletsgoletsgo** : they’re pining but they don’t even know..

**seahoe:** but we don’t have that on our team? Unless Koganegawa and Sakunami start developing feelings for each other..

**gogoletsgoletsgo** :

**misakii:**

**runaa:**

**goddess** :

**seahoe** : ???

**gogoletsgoletsgo** : i’m going to get grey hairs omfg

**seahoe** : oh btw how’s bro doing?

**gogoletsgoletsgo** : same as always, working hard

**gogoletsgoletsgo** : futakuchi seems to have recovered

**seahoe** : good 

**scaredofeverything** : uh?? Kiyoko-senpai?

**scaredofeverything** : why is noya-senpai lying on the floor in a puddle of tears?

**goddess** : life

**goddess** : but i’m sure he’ll be okay. It’s nishinoya. 

**sleepdeprived** : That’s literally Kenma anytime he realises he has to train with Lev.

**bitchinbubbles** : HAHAHAAH

**seahoe** : lmao y’all wildin

**gogoletsgoletsgo** : you don’t get to say that, you’re not even here!

**seahoe** : :P

  
  



	2. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> these fuckers have crushes but some are bitching and not admitting it:)  
> -kisekinohaikyuu

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Characters:  
> [sleepdeprived: Kaido, Nekoma]  
> misakii, runaa: misaki, runa  
> Foodo wudo: yukie (fukurodani)  
> Wowri: kaori (fukurodani)  
> Makomermaids: mako (shinzen)  
> Bitchinbubbles: eri (ubugawa)  
> Seahoe: umi (dateko)  
> Gogoletsgoletsgo: mai (dateko)

**6:55PM**

**seahoe** : y’all my bro is so sweet🥺🥺

**foodo wudo:** what did he do??

**seahoe** : he brought me little muffins from the bakery and a packet of sour gummies🥺

**gogoletsgoletsgo** : sounds like Aone

**gogoletsgoletsgo** : now that I think about it, doesn’t Futakuchi also like sour gummies?

**seahoe** : yea 

**seahoe** : it’s always a war between us to get them

**foodo wudo** : why don’t you two just get your own??

**gogoletsgoletsgo** : they’re dumb

**seahoe** : idk but he steals mine so i gotta steal his lmao

**bitchinbubbles:** fair

**sleepdeprived:** Imagine not having 4 siblings who are younger than you

**seahoe** : ew

**seahoe** : can’t imagine being the more mature one

**seahoe** : what’s it like, Kaido?

**sleepdeprived** : have.. have you read my username?

**sleepdeprived** : half is from my siblings half is from me staying up till 3 in the morning every day studying the other vb teams plays 

**seahoe** : omg ur dedication

**seahoe** : dateko can suck it cos i am NOT doing that for them lolol

**bitchinbubbles:** the dedication lolol

**seahoe:** my dedication is on another level lolol

**sleepdeprived** : how was practice for you guys?

**seahoe:** yea, how was practice, guys:)

**gogoletsgoletsgo** : umi shut the hell up tyvm

**gogoletsgoletsgo** : it was h e l l 

**gogoletsgoletsgo** : usually it’s quite peaceful, but fun. but today took a turn

**bitchinbubbles** : lolol practice was gr8, ashiya spiked the ball to nanasawa’s face and everything

**sleepdeprived** : sounds too familiar, ouch. 

**bitchinbubbles** : lol

**misakii:** omg don’t even T-T

**goddess:** what happened?

**runaa** : Terushima-senpai and the Senpai Squad

**runaa** : they happened

**sleepdeprived** : I think the Nekoma team enjoys hurting my but yknow maybe they’re all just dumb fucks 

**seahoe** : yea but they’re cute dumb fucks

**sleepdeprived** : still cute when they spike a ball at your face?

**seahoe** : excuse u they’re always cute

**gogoletsgoletsgo:** where’s the lie

**seahoe** : kaido, have you ever thought that anyone on nekoma was cute?

**seahoe** : like cute guy cute?

**sleepdeprived:** uhhh I guess I haven’t really thought about it? Like I’m close with them but I haven’t considered any of them in that way.

**seahoe** : ouuu really?

**seahoe** : that’s a shame

**seahoe** : they’re all really cute

**seahoe:** tbh i would date any of them if i got the chance

**gogoletsgoletsgo:** umi you’d date any cute guy that liked u

**bitchinbubbles** : wheres the lie

**bitchinbubbles:** but tbh same. I wanna date smo cute

**seahoe:** see? SHE gets it

**foodo wudo:** but anyways. is there anyone who’s caught your eye, Kaido?

**sleepdeprived** : sleep,.. lol, I guess sorta..

**seahoe** : OMG HWTA

**seahoe:** sPILL 

**sleepdeprived:** djsjbs don’t AtTaCk me

**bitchinbubbles:** *attacks*

**seahoe:** *attacks*x2

**sleepdeprived** : >:0 

**foodo wudo** : HAH

**scaredofeverything** : g-guys...maybe we shouldn’t force her…

**sleepdeprived** : Nono that’s all good my friend, I just feel like you’d be...weirded out by my choice

**gogoletsgoletsgo:** sweetie

**gogoletsgoletsgo:** i already know umi’s crush. I won’t be weirded out, swear

**seahoe** : MAI SHUT UP I HAVE NO CRUSH

**seahoe:** i’ve probably had a crush on all of the volley guys ik anyways, so i won’t be, either

**bitchinbubbles:** tbh same

**sleepdeprived:** Ugh but he‘s a first year and I’m a second year and idk I feel like ppl think that’s stupid

**goddess** : no that’s not stupid, age shouldn’t be a major factor, unless of course it’s a major and a minor or pedophelia.

**seahoe** : it’s only one year. It’s not even illegal

**sleepdeprived** : awe, I guess that’s fair, but ahh I’m scared to sayy.

**wowri** : lmao kaido if it’s any consolation, when I was younger I had a crush on a third-year in middle school

**sleepdeprived** : Lev, it’s fucking Lev.

**seahoe** : omg

**seahoe** : THERE’S NTH WEIRD ABT THAT

**seahoe:** I THOUGHT U WERE GNONA SAY ONE OF THE REALLY SHORT BENCHERS OR SMHT

**seahoe:** HAIBA IS CUTE AND CZJFUIGIHDF THeRES NOTHING TI BE ASHAMED OF

**sleepdeprived** : aishjd hes so idk but >:3333 

**gogoletsgoletsgo:** umi, a step BACK

**sleepdeprived:** YKNOW WHAT HE DOES SOMETIMES???

**seahoe:** LIKE WHEN HE STARTS GETTING EXCITED AND IT COMES OFF KINDA MEAN BUT THEN U REALISE HE’S JU

**seahoe** : ST AWKWARD AND CUTE??/

**sleepdeprived:** OKAY SO, WHEN I TREAT THE TEAM TO FOOD EVERY NOW AND AGAIN YEAH! HE CARRIED ME A FEW TIME ON HIS SHOULDERS BC IM A SHORT BITCH

**makomermaids** : you guys; man oh man do i love these crushes

**makomermaids** : me; man oh man is my team deformed

**seahoe** : OMG THATS SO CUTE IM

**foodo wudo:** kaido makes me feel single

**wowri** : bc u r lmaoo

**sleepdeprived:** don’t worry, that cute bitch dropped me once. When we were leaving the gym he dropped me on accident and now I have a scar on my calf 

**goddess:** ouch

**seahoe:** still, that’s rlly cute

**sleepdeprived** : it is! His hair is rlly softt.

**seahoe:** i want smth like that tbh

**sleepdeprived:** isn’t Aone like rlly tall, you’ve got that guy

**seahoe:** ew kaido ur making me feel single

**seahoe:** kAIDO RGATS MY BROtHER

**gogoletsgoletsgo:** YAHAHHAHAHHAHA

**sleepdeprived:** FUCK AHAHAH 

**seahoe** : IM

**bitchinbubbles** : no one:

**bitchinbubbles:** kaido: tbh umi you should commit incest

**sleepdeprived** : brb boutta Hang myself with the volleyball net

**goddess** : oh no! are you okay, Kaido?

**sleepdeprived:** I’m okay I’m okay! Don’t worry I was joking!

**goddess** : oh thank god 

**misakii:** isn’t it too late to go to the gym anyways??

**seahoe:** EW

**seahoe:** GUYS HELP 

**sleepdeprived:** what’s the status 

**seahoe** : the fucking scum of the earth just texted me

**sleepdeprived:** and who would that be? 

> * * *
> 
> **gummy-stealing asshole**

**bitch where tf were u**

_ sent two mins ago _

> * * *

**sleepdeprived** : that doesn’t clear it?

**seahoe:** trash texted me

**gogoletsgoletsgo:** omg is that futakuchi

**seahoe:** indeed it is

**seahoe:** now help me

**seahoe:** HE JUST SENT ABNOTHER ONE

> * * *

  
  


> **gummy-stealing asshole**

**UMI I CAN LITERALLY SEE YOU LEAVIMG ME ON SEEN**

_ sent two secs ago _

  
  


> * * *

**sleepdeprived** : lol but where were you Umi? HaVe SoMeThInG tO tElL uS?

**seahoe:** i wAS SICK TODAY ReMEMBER

**gogoletsgoletsgo:** umi he’s spamming me omg stop leaving him on seen

**seahoe:** make me

**gogoletsgoletsgo** : omg stop being so stubborn

**seahoe** : kscchd he’s spamming me too

**bitchinbubbles:** just answer him or block him or smth lol

**seahoe:** good idea

**sleepdeprived:** okay but Umi, were you dropped on the head as a child? Because like Futakuchi is like… lowkey..hot

**seahoe:** probably but HE IS NOT

**seahoe:** like

**seahoe:** yea he was KINDA cute b4 but he’s an ass and not that cute anyways so he’s ugly now for sure

**seahoe:** he isn’t cute enough for his looks to make up for his disgusting personality

**sleepdeprived** : oop

**gogoletsgoletsgo:** lol she says as if she doesn’t have a crush on him

**bitchinbubbles** : yea girl, we see you:/

**seahoe** : SDJCJCD SHUT UP I DONT

**sleepdeprived:** stage 1 Denial

**sleepdeprived** : i hope you know the last stage is acceptance

**gogoletsgoletsgo** : HAHAHAHAH

**bitchinbubbles** : wow she really came for ur neck 

**seahoe** : STFU

**seahoe:** anD BE QUIET KAIDO I CAN NOT AND WILL NOT ‘ACCEPT’ IT BECAUSE THERES NOTHING TO ACCEPT

**sleepdeprived** : now see here, this is where that fact that you were probably dropped in the head as a child comes into play

**gogoletsgoletsgo** : OMG HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

**seahoe:** SHUT IT MAI

**seahoe** : kAID O I DO NOT JESUS NFJD

**wowri** : it’s not good to lie to yourself like that

**sleepdeprived** : Just take a moment to think abt it..imagine being a cute couple with him, that’d be kinda adorable 

**seahoe:** nothing is cute with him

**seahoe:** only disgusting

**seahoe:** end of discussion

**bitchinbubbles:** my ass it is

**gogoletsgoletsgo:** ^^

**seahoe:** END OF DISCUSSION

**scaredofeverything:** g-guys maybe we shouldn’t push her!!

**seahoe:** THANKYOU YACHI.

**scaredofeverything:** she’ll tell us about her crush when she’s ready!

  
**seahoe:** GODDAMNIT YACHI

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! Liruicchi here:P. This is a collabfic between me and tsukikenma (instagram)!! Hope u enjoy this stupidity:)))


End file.
